People say we look like sisters but a very small handful, including myself, see how much she looks like her father. Well, I do have taste, you know. I can only take credit for half her genes. The other half belongs to my ex-husband.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Kyera Cover
She's the token Asian face on the cover of the multicultural brochure we hand out at Orlando World Outreach Center.
People say we look like sisters but a very small handful, including myself, see how much she looks like her father. Well, I do have taste, you know. I can only take credit for half her genes. The other half belongs to my ex-husband.
People say we look like sisters but a very small handful, including myself, see how much she looks like her father. Well, I do have taste, you know. I can only take credit for half her genes. The other half belongs to my ex-husband.
Monday, January 7, 2008
A Page from the Nanny Diary
As I wrestle with thoughts on moving yet again, I took on a babysitting gig yesterday. Out of the forty-something job applications I have submitted, ranging in varying levels of... experience, I finally found something that hired me on the spot - nanny for a day.
My body still aches from the exertion of helping a mom take care of twin toddlers but it's a good ache. Not just from an exercise standpoint but from the perspective of forcing myself to re-evaluate why I'm hitting walls with my applications.
Forty-five and counting?
Communications Manager, Training Manager, Morning Show Host, and now - Babysitter.
I think it's time to move... Maybe.
My body still aches from the exertion of helping a mom take care of twin toddlers but it's a good ache. Not just from an exercise standpoint but from the perspective of forcing myself to re-evaluate why I'm hitting walls with my applications.
Forty-five and counting?
Communications Manager, Training Manager, Morning Show Host, and now - Babysitter.
I think it's time to move... Maybe.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
The One Thing
The most prominent thing on my Wish List for 2008 is:
To work at a job I will love at a place that has great benefits.
I'll think about the other stuff like going back to school, or learning CSS, HTML, XHTML and Adobe InDesign, later.
Excuse me, while I re-strategize my job hunting...
To work at a job I will love at a place that has great benefits.
I'll think about the other stuff like going back to school, or learning CSS, HTML, XHTML and Adobe InDesign, later.
Excuse me, while I re-strategize my job hunting...
Monday, December 31, 2007
New Year's Eve 2008
Will come up with my list of goals for the new year soon enough. And will post a timeline of
events that brought us from the Philippines to/back to the US too. That, and the obligatory gratitude blog for the year that was.
But for now, as I sit in my aunt's quiet living room with the TV competing for my attention (why I cannot turn it off is fodder for another blog), I'm missing the chaos of Manila's New Year's Eve. Firecrackers going off around the neighborhood as early as... 7AM; the busy kitchens abuzz with the clash and clang of pots and pans; the squeals of happy children in the streets; the busy driveways filled with guests; radios at full blast; heavy traffic at open air fireworks venues.
I miss it all and then some.
As the Style Network lures me away from this blog to put me in a numbed state, my eyes will soon glaze over from non-stop channel surfing. At least, I won't feel the sadness of missing the madness we have left behind.
events that brought us from the Philippines to/back to the US too. That, and the obligatory gratitude blog for the year that was.But for now, as I sit in my aunt's quiet living room with the TV competing for my attention (why I cannot turn it off is fodder for another blog), I'm missing the chaos of Manila's New Year's Eve. Firecrackers going off around the neighborhood as early as... 7AM; the busy kitchens abuzz with the clash and clang of pots and pans; the squeals of happy children in the streets; the busy driveways filled with guests; radios at full blast; heavy traffic at open air fireworks venues.
I miss it all and then some.
As the Style Network lures me away from this blog to put me in a numbed state, my eyes will soon glaze over from non-stop channel surfing. At least, I won't feel the sadness of missing the madness we have left behind.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
18 Candles
8AM on December 28, 1989 I underwent a C-Section to deliver a healthy, 6.15 1/2 lb, 19 inch baby girl. It was an anti-climactic delivery to the preparation I had put into the nine months I was infanticipating - child birth classes, Lamaze books, Leboyer books, active birth books - you name it, I knew it.
But a visit to my OB-GYN coupled with a possible miscalculation on my part - plus a nervous mother who didn't want anything bad to happen to her daughter (me) or grandchild (Kyera) - left me and my then-husband with no choice but to agree to the expensive operation.
Seeing that we were twenty, both unemployed at the time, and living under my mother's roof, we didn't have much of a say in the matter. So we went home to pick up my and the baby's diaper bag, said good-bye to our bedroom, and promised it we would return with a baby. I turned to my husband and said, "Our lives will never be the same again. The next time we come home, we'll be parents."
You don't really no how much your parents love you until you have your own children. And the revelation doesn't end at birth. Here I am eighteen years into parenthood - sixteen as a single mom - and I still find myself profoundly grateful for my parents, albeit they are both dead now.
A former boss summarized it perfectly. "Becoming a parent ruins you. You are done for. You don't know how much you can love another human being until you have a child."
Welcome to the most joyful destruction of life.
Now that Kyera's eighteen, it's only a matter of time before I will happily gloat over watching her ruin herself. She's been warned that her children will be spoiled.
I can only hope that when that time comes, she will have been well-prepared. The one thing I know she will always know, is how well-loved she has always been.
Aaah, parenting. I've loved every second.
But a visit to my OB-GYN coupled with a possible miscalculation on my part - plus a nervous mother who didn't want anything bad to happen to her daughter (me) or grandchild (Kyera) - left me and my then-husband with no choice but to agree to the expensive operation.
Seeing that we were twenty, both unemployed at the time, and living under my mother's roof, we didn't have much of a say in the matter. So we went home to pick up my and the baby's diaper bag, said good-bye to our bedroom, and promised it we would return with a baby. I turned to my husband and said, "Our lives will never be the same again. The next time we come home, we'll be parents."
You don't really no how much your parents love you until you have your own children. And the revelation doesn't end at birth. Here I am eighteen years into parenthood - sixteen as a single mom - and I still find myself profoundly grateful for my parents, albeit they are both dead now.
A former boss summarized it perfectly. "Becoming a parent ruins you. You are done for. You don't know how much you can love another human being until you have a child."
Welcome to the most joyful destruction of life.
Now that Kyera's eighteen, it's only a matter of time before I will happily gloat over watching her ruin herself. She's been warned that her children will be spoiled.
I can only hope that when that time comes, she will have been well-prepared. The one thing I know she will always know, is how well-loved she has always been.
Aaah, parenting. I've loved every second.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
More Library Lovin'
Today I'm sitting through three levels of Photoshop. I can only crop and do basic photo alterations like playing with brightness, colors, etc., but when it comes to the more complex stuff like working with layers, brushes, etc., my eyes glaze over. Hopefully after today, I'll know what ALL the tools and tricks are. Or at least, MORE than what I know, which is very little.
We just applied for K's SSN yesterday so as soon as it arrives, I'm having her sign up for library classes too. That, and get a part-time job.
I have a feeling she'll get one sooner than me.
If that's the case, at least one of us will be working. The other one can stay at the library. Everyday.
We just applied for K's SSN yesterday so as soon as it arrives, I'm having her sign up for library classes too. That, and get a part-time job.
I have a feeling she'll get one sooner than me.
If that's the case, at least one of us will be working. The other one can stay at the library. Everyday.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Merry Christmas, Passport
We're at Casa Magpantay for Christmas Eve Filipino Style with fellow recently transplanted Filipinos from Victory Christian Fellowship Philippines. The Duque's are coming and the visiting Gutierrezes will be here too.
Today, Kyera's US Passport arrived via Fedex! I wasn't expecting a delivery on Christmas Eve but lo and behold, it arrived. Her misspelled name, corrected.
Though the temptation to pack our bags and go home is strong, we resist, and clip our wings for the time being and call Orlando home. For now.
If everything goes according to plan, we'll be in New Jersey or New York in two to three years. Maybe. One never knows what the future holds.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Meeting Myself in Fifteen Years
I started taking classes at the library to curb boredom. I don't like being idle so I figured the best way to make use of my time is to take advantage of a free service. Besides, one can only take so much TV in a day.
So one day while I was surfing the library website, I found a list of classes offered at different branches. It had everything from Computer Classes to Arts & Crafts to Meet the Author guest visits. I signed up.
Yesterday was three levels of MS Excel. My love affair with spreadsheets and all things mathematical has been in need of serious rekindling, or beginning, to be more exact. I arrived early and sat outside the classroom and met a nice middle-aged woman who had also signed up for all three levels. She had an accent that sounded like she was from the Caribbean.
During the break, we walked out together, intending to eat at separate places, but she changed her mind and went with me to Burger King. While waiting in line to order, she got a phone call that sounded like it was from a loved one. I was right. It was her daughter.
She went on to say that they're very close, that she's a single parent, that her daughter just married and moved to the West Coast, that they moved to Orlando twenty-three years ago from the Caribbean, and that she is now adjusting to life without her daughter.
We spent the rest of lunch making small talk about our other countries, our daughters, and the things we're looking forward to in 2008.
I couldn't help but think that some day, I too will be in an empty house and on the phone with Kyera who is off living her own life somewhere.
I hope there will be more classes at the library by then. And maybe a young single mom who's trying to find her way around a new life that I can share lunch with.
So one day while I was surfing the library website, I found a list of classes offered at different branches. It had everything from Computer Classes to Arts & Crafts to Meet the Author guest visits. I signed up.
Yesterday was three levels of MS Excel. My love affair with spreadsheets and all things mathematical has been in need of serious rekindling, or beginning, to be more exact. I arrived early and sat outside the classroom and met a nice middle-aged woman who had also signed up for all three levels. She had an accent that sounded like she was from the Caribbean.
During the break, we walked out together, intending to eat at separate places, but she changed her mind and went with me to Burger King. While waiting in line to order, she got a phone call that sounded like it was from a loved one. I was right. It was her daughter.
She went on to say that they're very close, that she's a single parent, that her daughter just married and moved to the West Coast, that they moved to Orlando twenty-three years ago from the Caribbean, and that she is now adjusting to life without her daughter.
We spent the rest of lunch making small talk about our other countries, our daughters, and the things we're looking forward to in 2008.
I couldn't help but think that some day, I too will be in an empty house and on the phone with Kyera who is off living her own life somewhere.
I hope there will be more classes at the library by then. And maybe a young single mom who's trying to find her way around a new life that I can share lunch with.
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