The Things We Leave Behind

R and J have returned from Hawaii with their daughter D. I sent R a text this Sunday morning to confirm and he replied with, "...Yes, mission accomplished!.."

I have been procrastinating on my To-Do List as it involves government agencies, legwork and money. Not to imply anything by that statement other than the fact they each require 'having' - to go to, to do and to... have. Every day, I log on to my TaDa List and stare. We look at each other. It, mockingly and I, timidly.

But I'm not one to back down from a challenge. I embrace the opportunity to get things done so I can feel the sheer joy of checking off each item with the click of my mouse. (Saves paper too!) But I'm procrastinating. That, and I cannot do much without funds. But that's the least of my concerns now. I trust that when I need the money, it will come. That'll be another blog.

Two colleagues at work are transitioning out of Manila. One actually just left with his family. The Saison's had been on the mission field for the past fourteen years. They are now back home in Canada and will be heading for Jacksonville, Florida in a couple of months to call it home. The Watkin's will be leaving the first of June. First stop is North Carolina then the Ukraine as missionaries.

All of this... moving has gotten me thinking about the things we leave behind at every place we stop at along this journey we call our lives. I've been in a reflective mood this past week (Well, this blog was started for this purpose..) and in a car ride home Friday night with dear friend Mikey, I got to thinking about how much I will miss him and the many other young adults from church, when I, we, leave. That thought then led me to taking stock of the encounters and events I will miss and it got me wondering in turn if people feel the same way about me. More importantly, I wonder if I am leaving behind a trail of happy thoughts that point to my happiness with God.

Mikey's new discovery is U2 so we sang their songs at the top of our lungs on our way home, I couldn't help but feel amazed, and admittedly old, that twenty-one year old Mikey was just discovering the wonders of my high school obsession.

singing U2 songs at the top of our lungs in mikey's car! 'WITH OR WITHOUUUT YOU-OH-HO..' friiiiday night second wind! 09:33 PM May 18, 2007 from web (twitter)

He then put I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For on repeat and we pretended we were African-Americans in purple robes. As we neared our apartment, I queried Mikey on his knowledge of Rattle and Hum and the spectacular love song, All I Want is You. He hadn't heard it. GASP. I found it on his iPod and let Bono do all the explaining of why this is my chosen future wedding song (that might change depending on my groom...) We got home still singing.

'..yeo-hoo.. all i want is yeo-hoooo.. all i want is yeo-hoo..' thank you, everybody! good night..! *blowing kisses* 11:21 PM May 18, 2007 from web (twitter)

Later that night I couldn't sleep, so I borrowed K's iPod and clicked on my favorite album, The Unforgettable Fire. High school, 1984 and being one of a few who loved this band back then at our exclusive girls' school came back to me. And I looked at the time and space that has traveled since I was fourteen and how at that age, the future seemed so far away.

Here I am now, twenty three years later, with a seventeen year old daughter and another future. But this one comes swiftly. In a mere twelve years, by God's grace, I will be fifty. Half a century. More than half a life, lived. It was a sobering thought.

Will I be able to look back at my now and like R and J, the Saison's, and the Watkin's hopefully be all the more wiser, and braver and faith-filled for grabbing change and hopefully, have no regrets? And in that future, will Mikey remember me fondly not only for my rekindled U2 love but for my passion for Jesus?

I sure hope so.

album playing on K's ipod: the unforgettable fire by U2