You know what I mean? When I come across something that is short or funny or highly informative or downright provocative or truly uplifting or... I get the feeling that I'm not writing what I should be writing.
But then again, that's the joy that is blogging. I write for myself. Anyone who reads me and connects or resonates with me is a bonus. A bit selfish though it may seem, I blog because I want to. I need to. And if one day I actually do write a book, I'd like to think I've gotten enough practice from all this word-weaving. Hopefully by then, I will have collected earth-shaking life revelations that people will actually want to read!
One of my former bosses used to tease me at my first job that I wrote too seriously. Or rather took myself too seriously.
"Thelma, can you write a Press Release for me for one of my artists?" Arsi requested.
My attempt was greeted with: "Too flowery! Just stick to the facts! None of this, 'It was a bright and sunny day...' kind of writing, Thelma!"
Wounded, I returned to the drawing board. I got it right after three more attempts.
Here I am fourteen years later looking at my eclectic resume that includes having been published (a stranger copy/pasted my piece!) in a nationally circulated newspaper, the Philippine Star and in an online magazine. (Zuula rocks!)
But as I face the prospect of moving back to the US, I struggle with the possibility that not only will I have to start from scratch, I just might have to work at a Dean & Deluca or a Starbucks as a friendly neighborhood barista before landing in something I have either done in Manila or truly love doing.
In true me fashion, I would do that. Or anything else, for my child. Well, anything legal that is.
My current state of mind is the opposite of yesterday's dark and twisty blog.
Today, I choose faith. I make a conscious effort to look at the bright side by being thankful for at least three things.
- G3's wife and daughter have just been issued US visas!
- Mikey called me out of the blue because he misses me. *sniffle*
- Carol from Malaysia is going to New York to study at Berkeley College.
Sometimes, all you really need to do is open your eyes. Or write a new post.
song playing on the networked itunes: signal fire by snow patrol