I haven't allowed myself to sit back and fully comprehend the fact that I am leaving. I finally looked at airfare rates yesterday and looked at one-way ticket prices. I picked a date - September 20. I will be flying in Economy to the tune of approximately $ 700-750. Or twice the price if Kyera and I leave together.
But things might change and I might leave sooner without her. Everything depends on God's timing and favor.
For the first time since the season we pursued happiness, I am re-discovering what it means to be fully dependent on the Sovereign God who truly, madly, deeply loves me with an everlasting love. It's humbling for a control freak such as myself to have to relinquish the reigns. But if i am to get this done, who better to be in charge than Jesus?
I now begin the task of uprooting my life by starting with our apartment. Thankfully, we hardly have any furniture at this point in our lives. Over the last ten years since my mom's death, we have gone from a five-bedroom house to twelve different condos and apartments, the last being our present rented two-bedroom two-story row house that is barely furnished save for a given dining set, a given bed and recently purchased shelves that would have been the beginning of our never-commencing plan to fix our home.
And yet, for all that we no longer own - a TV, a car, coffee tables, etc. - how do you fit twenty-six and seventeen years into two suitcases and two boxes?
By ruthlessly leaving behind what will weigh us down.
I expect to cry a lot these next six weeks as I sift through the remains of my life in the Philippines. Thank God for His ever present help and comfort.
song playing on itunes: beautiful lord by leland