Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Two Suitcases and Two Boxes

I haven't allowed myself to sit back and fully comprehend the fact that I am leaving. I finally looked at airfare rates yesterday and looked at one-way ticket prices. I picked a date - September 20. I will be flying in Economy to the tune of approximately $ 700-750. Or twice the price if Kyera and I leave together.

But things might change and I might leave sooner without her. Everything depends on God's timing and favor.

For the first time since the season we pursued happiness, I am re-discovering what it means to be fully dependent on the Sovereign God who truly, madly, deeply loves me with an everlasting love. It's humbling for a control freak such as myself to have to relinquish the reigns. But if i am to get this done, who better to be in charge than Jesus?

I now begin the task of uprooting my life by starting with our apartment. Thankfully, we hardly have any furniture at this point in our lives. Over the last ten years since my mom's death, we have gone from a five-bedroom house to twelve different condos and apartments, the last being our present rented two-bedroom two-story row house that is barely furnished save for a given dining set, a given bed and recently purchased shelves that would have been the beginning of our never-commencing plan to fix our home.

And yet, for all that we no longer own - a TV, a car, coffee tables, etc. - how do you fit twenty-six and seventeen years into two suitcases and two boxes?

By ruthlessly leaving behind what will weigh us down.

I expect to cry a lot these next six weeks as I sift through the remains of my life in the Philippines. Thank God for His ever present help and comfort.

song playing on itunes: beautiful lord by leland


7 comments:

Duane said...

I will keep you and *17* in my thoughts and prayers as you ready yourself for the journey ahead

Thelma said...

super thanks, dude. *hug* you are in mine as well!

hotfish said...

I left everything behind, took a suitcase of clothes, photographs, letters and what-not with me. I still have some clothes, all photographs and what-not... I did not cry until I left again years later because then 5 year old started crying. Actually, I think everyone who saw me off at the airport cried too...

In any case, they are just earthly possessions that you leave behind. The important stuff are in your heart and memories. :)

Thelma said...

awww, miss fish. you just made me cry. thanks for the reminder. i'm good at detachment but i still have my days, you know? *hug*

Through the Mist said...

When we left in 2005, Jojo and I alloted ourselves and our kids two balikbayan boxes each for our clothes and stuff. I had two more for albums, two for Christmas ornaments, two for books....(you get the point, hehe). The trauma is in the sorting, the decisions today. But when you do leave, it'll be like leaving behind an old shroud. I wish you true happiness and a new adventure, Thelms, which is always the reason He moves us from point A to B.

PS Leave a box here and there to come back for later on. You don't need to throw it all away.

Kyera said...

see mom?? tita Ida gave her kids 2 balikbayan boxes each. how come i get only one? come ooooooooon.. two please! :)

Thelma said...

thanks, miss mist. *hug* hearing that a nomad like yourself has left a box here and there is reassuring. kinda like leaving behind a piece of one's self to return to.

need to see who among my friends love me the most to actually let me leave my treasured possessions!