Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Days 31-36 of 90: One Month and One Eye

Today the 24th marks my fourth week in Tallahassee and my fifth back in the US. Back, because I spent the first eleven years of my life in the Pacific Northwest primarily. Portland, Oregon was where we last lived and where my father passed away when I was eight years old. So in case you may be wondering why I always say "back", this is why.

I've been job-searching this past week and despite not finding anything yet I am in faith that God is preparing the best job for me. It's been an interesting study, this revisiting my work history and hoping it will open doors for me. And while I find things that interest me, I am realizing that the person I was in Manila must start anew in so many ways. Wherein my once well- and widely-connected self had access to almost anything and anyone, here where I am a stranger and a nobody at that, I am learning more and more to trust in a God whose plans for me far exceed anything I can imagine. It's all good. I am "forgetting what is behind and pressing on to win the prize"!

I don't recognize myself at times. I step outside of me and see and hear how much this experience is changing me. My timid smile, my self-conscious questions, my soft voice. I am surprised at how different I've become! How polar opposite! Self-confident, independent, articulate and boisterous me, reduced to a meek, soft-voiced, shy shell. I guess it's a phase. A season. A dream that I hope to wake up from soon and find myself like I once was.

Or not. I don't know how to describe it. And for those who know me well, you're probably laughing at how different my description of self sounds from how you may remember me. I give myself until the end of the year, or sooner, to be my old self again.

Here's a poem I found that was written by my pastor, Lani Peck.

Better far to be alive

To choose and suffer and survive
To see the stars and dare new lands
With empty pockets, blistered hands

Than trudge, in step, the well-worn trail

Where wind and wave cannot assail

Where all is safe and all approve

Where the mountains never move

I sail this course
with him who said
He had nowhere to lay his head

I live! I live and am not dead!
Kyera and I are now waiting for her visa to be issued. She was told that it would take anywhere between one to three weeks should there be no more requirements requested. We're believing that she'll be here by the week of November 10 - 17. Please pray with us.

Here's me in my job search attire. Getting dressed up does wonders for ones self-confidence. Hopefully, it will do wonders for my job hunting.

Michael had surgery done on his left eye. A shunt was inserted in his eyeball to drain fluid that is a symptom of the early stage of glaucoma. What was only supposed to be a routine procedure turned out to have complications (very rare!) and resulted in such severe pain, he had to return the following day for a repeat of the surgery! He's on his way to recovery but still in pain. Please pray for him. Here's his eye, published with his permission. It's not visible in the photo, but the whites around his iris are actually red and raw. Ouch.

The recent news of the bombing of Glorietta came to me as soon as it happened because of the wonders of Twitter. (You have to sign up to understand...) I pray for the loved ones of those who died. Here's a letter from a husband of one of the victims.

Life is indeed short.

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