Day 55 of 90 Until Forever: Grateful

This return/move to the US began as early as July of 2006. While attending the Every Nation International Leadership Conference in LA, I felt a tug in my heart for the land I spent the first eleven years of my life.

I started praying for an opportunity, or a reason, to return. Being a US citizen and having lived in the Philippines for twenty-seven years, it was not an easy feat to uproot from a perfectly comfortable and successful existence to a new place to from scratch. More so as a single parent.

January 2007. The annual corporate prayer and fasting of Victory Christian Fellowship. Not a duty, but a delight to start the year off seeking God. This year, my only desire was simple - more of God in my life.

At Alabang one evening, Pastor Keith Lindsey preached out of Ezekiel of the man who walked into the water until he was fully submerged. This, he said, is what it is to be in the will of God. Untethered and without control. The difference between asking, "God, what is Your will for my life?" from "God, what is Your will?" is removing 'my' from the question.

About ten days after the fast, one of my best friends, Joyce, shared with me about the Child Citizenship Act of 2000: Minors below the age of 18 who are under petition by an American citizen parent automatically become US citizens upon arriving in the US or on US Territory. Kyera turns eighteen on December 28, 2007. I had to start moving if we were to beat the deadline.

And now she's here.

The following have helped us on this journey. To them I owe the deepest gratitude. I would do for them in an instant what they have done for us.

Ron and Joyce. Thank you for convincing me to do this and for encouraging me every step of the way by your example. Because you were one step ahead of us in this, I was braver and surer because you pointed me in the right direction. Your experience and advice has been my beacon every step of the way. My life has been tremendously blessed by our sixteen year friendship.

Len. You already know I love you and treasure you deeply. It's the hardest thing being half a world away from a best friend but I am fully confident that time and space cannot fade what we have found with each other. Being apart from Kyera and knowing she was under your care and loved like your own made a world of difference to me as I struggled many times with missing her. I rested in the knowledge that you kept her safe. I know that our reunion some day will be just as sweet as mine was with Kyera.

Michael and Janet. Thank you for making me an unofficial Turner. I cannot thank you enough for having me stay with you "so you could take care of me". For reassuring me that drink refills are perfectly fine, to letting the whole family wait for me to get my driver's license, I treasure every moment and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Because of your tireless efforts, I got everything I needed in order, swiftly. Kyera is in the US now because you helped me do what I needed to do. You and Zane, Zak and Zephan have a place in my heart and home always.

Filipinos in the US from VCF. G3, May, Carol (Malaysian but Pinay at heart!), Tess, the Duques and the Magpantays were my life support system when I had days that found me at the end of my rope. They truly understood/understand what it's like.

Leah. Knowing we were both in the "same place at the same time" where our daughters were far away from us is an experience I will not soon forget. I can honestly say that the past two months were easier knowing that we shared a unique journey. Our cyber-hugs pulled me through many a dark valley, my friend. And now, we both have our babies back. *hug*

Multiply and Blogspot. It may seem odd to thank a social networking site and a blog, but in this day and age wherein the world is at our fingertips, I cannot not thank the friends both online and in real life, old and new, who stop by to read and leave comments. I have been deeply encouraged. Many a sharp pang of homesickness and loneliness have been averted by the comfort of reading replies and others' posts. Thank you!!

If you haven't ventured out into the water, jump in. It's amazing.

Days 48 & 49 of 90: Orlando Bound

A little past my halfway mark of the First Ninety Days Back in the US series, I look back at the places I've been to since returning to America last September 19th.

First stop was Metro Morningstar DC where I visited for six days.

Then on to Tallahassee last September 25th to be reunited with the Turners. I've known them since 1995 when Michael and Janet moved to the Philippines and stayed for close to eight years. I got to see them last year when I attended the Every Nation International Leadership Conference. I've been staying with them all this time.



Tomorrow I head to Orlando to visit with a long, lost aunt who I haven't seen since my mom's funeral in 1997. I only recently found out she lives in Orlando! I'll get to see my Victory Christian Fellowship pastors and their families - the Duques, the Magpantays, and hopefully the Punzalans too!

I'll stay for ten days to explore the job market. The highlight of my visit is KYERA'S ARRIVAL on Tuesday the 13th!!

I miss hearing Christmas carols at the malls in Manila as early as September. Nothing like that here.

Day 45: Every Nation Tallahassee

My Sunday in pictures. It felt like Victory Christian Fellowship! I caught the last of the Money Talks Series: Live to Give.

First time visitors get mugs. I chose a silver one.


The lobby where the book table is located has a table for visitors and a nice coffee nook similar to but fancier than the one we have at Victory Christian Fellowship-Alabang.

In true fellowship fashion, I spent the afternoon with new friends watching a movie at the dollar cinema (aka budget moviehouse). The matinee (afternoon) screening of No Reservations cost $ 1.25! That's even cheaper than Manila!


It was a guuuude Sunday. Very guuuuude.

Hoping that WEEK TWO OF KYERA'S VISA WAIT will be just as guuuuuude and rewarding.

I was very encouraged today to hear a fellow mom remind me that God is responsible for our children. "God does not have grandkids! We are all His children!" Oftentimes as parents, we wish we could control the things that life deals our kids. But the truth is, we can't. It's one of the hardest lessons I'm learning as a parent. My daughter getting a visa is out of my control. I've done my part.

I rest not only in the knowledge that God loves Kyera more than I ever could, but that He can and will take care of her more than I am capable of. Saying this half a world away from her has truly been a faith-stretching season! But I know that He has only her and my best in His plans.

And when I desperately want to hold her, He can do that for me too.

Like now.

Days 18-21: The Little Things

It's the little things in my new life in Florida that are falling into comfortable places to make me feel like I'm home. I've been back in the US as an adult for... twenty-one days now. It's been an interesting journey so far and as I hit the 21st day habit-forming mark, I must say that I'm more comfortable in my surroundings. And though I know it will take a while before I can genuinely feel like I'm home (including Kyera's arrival), it is getting easier to be here.

Airplane ads flying in the sky reminded me of a long ago time as a child looking up at a noontime sky. I have yet to see the kinds that write messages in smoke though, if those are still around.


My second Pancake Saturday at our pastor's house is becoming something I look forward to on the weekend. It's a great way to just hang out with and meet new people, people not just from church, but people who are from nearby FSU (Florida State University).

Although I've been told that one can only have so many pancakes in a year, lots of people come just to have coffee and company. It's a fifteen year old tradition! I'm told that one Saturday, seventy people showed up! Pancake batter - both regular and my personal favorite whole wheat - is mixed and ready to be made, along with eggs that are ready to be scrambled or fried. (Everyone makes his or her own.)

One of my co-workers is a seventy year-old Filipino lolo (grandfather) whose grandchild celebrated a birthday. In true Filipino tradition, he brought food to work and shared it with all of us. I didn't realize how much I missed good old-fashioned menudo, palabok, lechon manok and plain white rice until I ate this for breakfast the following morning!

The music Sunday morning was comforting in the sense that we sang familiar songs - Chris Tomlin and Hillsong. It may be a far cry from the music I'm used to at my beloved Victory Christian Fellowship - Alabang, but it felt good to be with others who love God just as much.

I was told that different types of music - classical, full band, Indian drums - are used so I'm looking forward to experiencing this in the coming weeks.

In the midst of all this, as I find myself upside down and sideways at times, God always comes to my rescue and sets me upright and secure. I am experiencing Him in new ways that I otherwise would never have known. I don't know how to explain how it feels to have verses leap out to you everyday to bring strength, peace, joy and love. Words that though very familiar, now have new, deeper meanings!

I must admit though that I have had moments wherein I've wanted to board a plane and fly home but I know that this is not an option. For now. So I walk on the water with my Savior, and let Him rescue me whenever I start to sink. I am amazed how He could love me so!

I still miss Kyera so, so very much. But it's the little things like chatting with her, getting her and others' Twitter posts, reading peoples' Multiply posts, receiving Personal Messages and e-mail, that I look forward to the most everyday. I've found a Filipino-American association here and will be looking into introducing myself to them soon. I'm realizing more and more how Filipino I truly am. I'll save my third culture analogies for another blog.

Finally, I have batteries for my ancient CD player and I am now listening to Jose's album Glorious. Hearing it makes me feel like I'm back in Manila. But I know that from now on, I will make new memories to his songs.

song playing on my aiwa: jose villanueva's the lord reigns