Day 55 of 90 Until Forever: Grateful

This return/move to the US began as early as July of 2006. While attending the Every Nation International Leadership Conference in LA, I felt a tug in my heart for the land I spent the first eleven years of my life.

I started praying for an opportunity, or a reason, to return. Being a US citizen and having lived in the Philippines for twenty-seven years, it was not an easy feat to uproot from a perfectly comfortable and successful existence to a new place to from scratch. More so as a single parent.

January 2007. The annual corporate prayer and fasting of Victory Christian Fellowship. Not a duty, but a delight to start the year off seeking God. This year, my only desire was simple - more of God in my life.

At Alabang one evening, Pastor Keith Lindsey preached out of Ezekiel of the man who walked into the water until he was fully submerged. This, he said, is what it is to be in the will of God. Untethered and without control. The difference between asking, "God, what is Your will for my life?" from "God, what is Your will?" is removing 'my' from the question.

About ten days after the fast, one of my best friends, Joyce, shared with me about the Child Citizenship Act of 2000: Minors below the age of 18 who are under petition by an American citizen parent automatically become US citizens upon arriving in the US or on US Territory. Kyera turns eighteen on December 28, 2007. I had to start moving if we were to beat the deadline.

And now she's here.

The following have helped us on this journey. To them I owe the deepest gratitude. I would do for them in an instant what they have done for us.

Ron and Joyce. Thank you for convincing me to do this and for encouraging me every step of the way by your example. Because you were one step ahead of us in this, I was braver and surer because you pointed me in the right direction. Your experience and advice has been my beacon every step of the way. My life has been tremendously blessed by our sixteen year friendship.

Len. You already know I love you and treasure you deeply. It's the hardest thing being half a world away from a best friend but I am fully confident that time and space cannot fade what we have found with each other. Being apart from Kyera and knowing she was under your care and loved like your own made a world of difference to me as I struggled many times with missing her. I rested in the knowledge that you kept her safe. I know that our reunion some day will be just as sweet as mine was with Kyera.

Michael and Janet. Thank you for making me an unofficial Turner. I cannot thank you enough for having me stay with you "so you could take care of me". For reassuring me that drink refills are perfectly fine, to letting the whole family wait for me to get my driver's license, I treasure every moment and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Because of your tireless efforts, I got everything I needed in order, swiftly. Kyera is in the US now because you helped me do what I needed to do. You and Zane, Zak and Zephan have a place in my heart and home always.

Filipinos in the US from VCF. G3, May, Carol (Malaysian but Pinay at heart!), Tess, the Duques and the Magpantays were my life support system when I had days that found me at the end of my rope. They truly understood/understand what it's like.

Leah. Knowing we were both in the "same place at the same time" where our daughters were far away from us is an experience I will not soon forget. I can honestly say that the past two months were easier knowing that we shared a unique journey. Our cyber-hugs pulled me through many a dark valley, my friend. And now, we both have our babies back. *hug*

Multiply and Blogspot. It may seem odd to thank a social networking site and a blog, but in this day and age wherein the world is at our fingertips, I cannot not thank the friends both online and in real life, old and new, who stop by to read and leave comments. I have been deeply encouraged. Many a sharp pang of homesickness and loneliness have been averted by the comfort of reading replies and others' posts. Thank you!!

If you haven't ventured out into the water, jump in. It's amazing.

Day 45: Every Nation Tallahassee

My Sunday in pictures. It felt like Victory Christian Fellowship! I caught the last of the Money Talks Series: Live to Give.

First time visitors get mugs. I chose a silver one.


The lobby where the book table is located has a table for visitors and a nice coffee nook similar to but fancier than the one we have at Victory Christian Fellowship-Alabang.

In true fellowship fashion, I spent the afternoon with new friends watching a movie at the dollar cinema (aka budget moviehouse). The matinee (afternoon) screening of No Reservations cost $ 1.25! That's even cheaper than Manila!


It was a guuuude Sunday. Very guuuuude.

Hoping that WEEK TWO OF KYERA'S VISA WAIT will be just as guuuuuude and rewarding.

I was very encouraged today to hear a fellow mom remind me that God is responsible for our children. "God does not have grandkids! We are all His children!" Oftentimes as parents, we wish we could control the things that life deals our kids. But the truth is, we can't. It's one of the hardest lessons I'm learning as a parent. My daughter getting a visa is out of my control. I've done my part.

I rest not only in the knowledge that God loves Kyera more than I ever could, but that He can and will take care of her more than I am capable of. Saying this half a world away from her has truly been a faith-stretching season! But I know that He has only her and my best in His plans.

And when I desperately want to hold her, He can do that for me too.

Like now.

Seventeen Days Later and My Life as a Strawberry Blonde

Life is finally starting to return to normal at work. With our Every Nation World Conference, EN07, over and done, I can now re-focus on the most important task at hand - moving back to the US!

The birthday was last Friday and it was uneventful save for my feelin' the love from text messages, calls and tweets. I was at work all day. My boss and an officemate took me to lunch at Teriyaki Boy for sushi and tofu. Kids from church surprised me with a chocolate cake that evening before Kyera and I headed to Ratatouille with friends.

My mind has been set on my daughter hearing back from the embassy by mid-September since I submitted the readiness document only last July 13. But to my surprise, she just got word today that she's scheduled for an interview at the end of the month.

(insert excited shrieks here)

I've been randomly trawling cyberspace sporadically to take my mind off the huuuuge mind map I have for our move. So I logged into my old friendster account and found this photo on a good friend's profile. (Thanks, Arnel Carrion!)

It's me from my stint as an actress for Repertory Philippines during their 2000-2001 season.

This is me as 5B in Murder for Rent. The hair is really mine. And it wasn't a requirement for the role. It did, however, fit my eccentric character. Just her... I'm as normal as can be... *wink wink*


So please pray for my daughter that her visa will be approved. And that someday, her mother will get to act again. Or dye her hair some strange color one more time.

song playing in the office: the violent clapping of thunder outside

When Push Comes to Shove

Real Life has been unkind to me these past days since my last post. Not in a bad way mind you. We did, after all get great news in the mail!

But with this fantastic package comes the reality of my massive TaDaList getting even loooooonger than it already was. Am now having to add the mundane task of cleaning out and sorting out our apartment before leaving in two months. Two months!!!

I am so grateful that in the years following my mother's death - and our subsequent moves to twelve different apartments - I have subtracted and/or lost so much of what I once used to own. Having inherited a fully-furnished, four-bedroom house, K and I are now down to two beds, a given dining table, a computer table, a fridge, and a various assortment of this's and that's.

My task is not as gargantuan as it would have been had I not downsized considerably since 1997.

I have documents that need to be secured from government agencies; entertainment for a world conference that needs to be organized; books to be given away; a video collection that needs to be sold; furniture that needs to be donated; and a mini-dachshund that needs to be adopted.

All this while still deciding on where to live in the US.

The choices are now:

1. Orlando, Florida
2. Tallahassee, Florida
3. Jersey City, New Jersey
4. New York, New York

And I haven't even started allowing myself to think about the possibility of having to leave K for a month or two first before she follows.

Without this peace that transcends all understanding, I would certainly be partially insane by now.

Thank God I've been through worse!

This is nothing.

I am in the water, untethered to anything that keeps me safe, thankful that the One who commands the wind and the waves is with me.

Where would I be without my Jesus?