Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head...

Tropical Storm Chedeng is reportedly heading out of the Philippines after dumping much-needed rain on the country these past couple of days. It's been a relatively dry year for us this 2007. I remember a couple of years ago that we had somewhere around thirty storms battering our islands. It felt like we were doomed to nothing but rain-filled days that left our hair flat.

Suffice it to say that we're used to days that keep us trapped at home while the rain pours outside. When my mother first moved us to the Philippines when I was in the sixth grade, I remember eagerly anticipating the official announcement that classes would be suspended. (One would think that it would automatically be a given seeing how bad our streets flood.) But wait we did and until told so, we went about our usual morning routine, but making sure to bring windbreakers and rain gear.

It was such a long, long time ago. We had a driver and my mom always brought and picked me up from school. Embarrassingly up until college! (We'll talk about that some other time...)

Nowadays, my life is completely different. I grew up to be a street smart single mom who is solely responsible for another human being. A far cry from the helpless nineteen-year old kid whose husband left her a little over a year after getting married. My mother took care of me and K up until the day she died in 1997. She had a massive stroke five days after her sixty-seventh birthday.

Rainy Window from milov.nl

Sometimes when I commute home at night, I think about how my mom used to wait up for me even when I could drive. How she always made sure there was some food left over from dinner for me to eat. I miss her.

The littlest things remind me of my long-dead parents. I try to imagine what they would say to me now and what they think about what I'm about to do. I know my American father would be ecstatic. And my Filipina-Italian-American mother always encouraged me to move back someday.

As I come to grips with all the documents that I am gathering from files labeled as "Important", a date leaps out to me. It is September 20, 1980; the date indicated on my Philippine Immigration Certificate. This is the day that I am tentatively scheduled to leave.

I find it poetic. To leave on the same day I arrived twenty-seven years ago. I came here kicking and screaming; I leave with a certain sadness. If not for the Grace of God, I would be an emotional wreck.

So here's to rainy days that bring memories afloat; of days gone by with dearly missed parents; departure dates that are apt.

And the Grace of God that is more than enough.

song playing on K's ipod: svefn-g-englar by sigur ros

Errands and the City

Day 2 of my crossing-out-my-Mind-Map-To-Do's kind of day. It's the second of my two-day Vacation Leave from the office.

So much for vacation.

It's been years since K and I actually did anything together. My last trip out of town was overnight for a wedding in beautiful Boracay last February. We haven't actually done anything like booking a reservation somewhere and tiring ourselves out getting to said somewhere and just... relaxing.

But it's all good. And as usual, I'm digressing.

So. We went to a statistics office yesterday and then I had to head to another side of town for K's Alternative Learning test results (Yes, Alternative Learning. Fodder for another blog. Sorry. Too long to get into here!). I waited an hour for the coordinator only to be told I had to go to the Department of Education for another set of documents.

Which brings me to today. A one-hour bus ride, a government office, a metro train ride to another side of town, then a recording studio to pick up copies of some of the commercials I voiced, then other side of town near home to meet up with K.

The second of only a couple more errand-driven days to come before September 20, or possibly sooner.

Here's wishing us all stress-free days! Or the storm-proof calm of knowing this too shall pass!

Two Suitcases and Two Boxes

I haven't allowed myself to sit back and fully comprehend the fact that I am leaving. I finally looked at airfare rates yesterday and looked at one-way ticket prices. I picked a date - September 20. I will be flying in Economy to the tune of approximately $ 700-750. Or twice the price if Kyera and I leave together.

But things might change and I might leave sooner without her. Everything depends on God's timing and favor.

For the first time since the season we pursued happiness, I am re-discovering what it means to be fully dependent on the Sovereign God who truly, madly, deeply loves me with an everlasting love. It's humbling for a control freak such as myself to have to relinquish the reigns. But if i am to get this done, who better to be in charge than Jesus?

I now begin the task of uprooting my life by starting with our apartment. Thankfully, we hardly have any furniture at this point in our lives. Over the last ten years since my mom's death, we have gone from a five-bedroom house to twelve different condos and apartments, the last being our present rented two-bedroom two-story row house that is barely furnished save for a given dining set, a given bed and recently purchased shelves that would have been the beginning of our never-commencing plan to fix our home.

And yet, for all that we no longer own - a TV, a car, coffee tables, etc. - how do you fit twenty-six and seventeen years into two suitcases and two boxes?

By ruthlessly leaving behind what will weigh us down.

I expect to cry a lot these next six weeks as I sift through the remains of my life in the Philippines. Thank God for His ever present help and comfort.

song playing on itunes: beautiful lord by leland

Seventeen Days Later and My Life as a Strawberry Blonde

Life is finally starting to return to normal at work. With our Every Nation World Conference, EN07, over and done, I can now re-focus on the most important task at hand - moving back to the US!

The birthday was last Friday and it was uneventful save for my feelin' the love from text messages, calls and tweets. I was at work all day. My boss and an officemate took me to lunch at Teriyaki Boy for sushi and tofu. Kids from church surprised me with a chocolate cake that evening before Kyera and I headed to Ratatouille with friends.

My mind has been set on my daughter hearing back from the embassy by mid-September since I submitted the readiness document only last July 13. But to my surprise, she just got word today that she's scheduled for an interview at the end of the month.

(insert excited shrieks here)

I've been randomly trawling cyberspace sporadically to take my mind off the huuuuge mind map I have for our move. So I logged into my old friendster account and found this photo on a good friend's profile. (Thanks, Arnel Carrion!)

It's me from my stint as an actress for Repertory Philippines during their 2000-2001 season.

This is me as 5B in Murder for Rent. The hair is really mine. And it wasn't a requirement for the role. It did, however, fit my eccentric character. Just her... I'm as normal as can be... *wink wink*


So please pray for my daughter that her visa will be approved. And that someday, her mother will get to act again. Or dye her hair some strange color one more time.

song playing in the office: the violent clapping of thunder outside

Step Two: The Funny Thing About Serendipity

Woke at 5AM and headed to the US Embassy to submit a document that says K is ready with her papers. Something that I actually could have done last week. Or ten days ago when the Visa application arrived.

It would have saved me my acidic stomach and the stress-relieving trip to the stylist to chop off my hair.

But it was my fault.

R and J paid me a surprise visit at my office yesterday! Since I haven't been able to drag my but to their side of Makati, they came unannounced and we got to do our long overdue, albeit brief, catching up, while they killed time before heading to a recording.

Of course, the topic of where I am in the process of getting K's papers in order came up.

They recalled their timelines of official documents arriving, and interview dates being secured, and it was revealed to me, and reminded to them, that one of the papers can be submitted as soon as possible even while still completing requirements. And no fees are needed yet.

Yay!

So off I went this morning. I arrived at ten to seven and was told to wait until eight for a certain window to open. Said window opened and I was then told I was at the wrong window. The window where I was supposed to go had no lines and all I had to do was hand over a piece of paper.

guard made me wait at the wrong window for more than an hour only to be told to go to a different one where i spent FIVE seconds. about 2 hours ago from web

Funny how I have been worrying about the $ 400 when I don't actually need it yet. All I had to do was fill out two forms and submit it at the embassy.

Who would have thought that out of the blue, two of my best friends in the world would come to see me on a whim, bearing information I didn't know I would need, in order for me to do something I had been agonizing over when to do?

I truly am not in control.

Thank you, God, for knowing all the tiny details that I don't, and for orchestrating long overdue visits with friends in the nick of time.

Now the wait for K's visa interview begins.

Someone's Birthday This Way Comes

Looks like I found yet another new toy. Shouldn't Kyera be the one doing these things? You may be asking yourself. She would be if only our crappy internet at home would work...

SmartBRO sucks eggs. Eggs!!!

That's one thing I want for my birthday - a decent connection at home.

And of course, a plane ticket, a place to stay, Kyera's Visa approved, and lots of cake and ice cream.

And maybe a pretty bouquet of flowers.

And a trip to the beach.

And an iPhone.

Since I Don't Have an iPhone, Let Me Entertain Myself with a Blogthing...

You Are a Ring Finger

You are romantic, expressive, and hopeful. You see the best in everything. You are very artistic, and you see the world as your canvas. You are also drawn to the written word. Inventive and unique, you are often away in your own inner world. You get along well with: The Pinky Stay away from: The Index Finger

What Finger Are You?

The ball is now in my court. Visa Application papers are waiting to be filled; official, local government documents are waiting to be procured; my bank account is waiting to be credited.

Waiting.

Almost feels like the wait for the iPhone that I didn't actually wait for but waited for vicariously with my Twitter friends in the US.

You know what I mean?

Now all I need is to find a Pinky and I will be a happy girl.

podcast on itunes at work: joel osteen's Trust God to Do It His Way

When Push Comes to Shove

Real Life has been unkind to me these past days since my last post. Not in a bad way mind you. We did, after all get great news in the mail!

But with this fantastic package comes the reality of my massive TaDaList getting even loooooonger than it already was. Am now having to add the mundane task of cleaning out and sorting out our apartment before leaving in two months. Two months!!!

I am so grateful that in the years following my mother's death - and our subsequent moves to twelve different apartments - I have subtracted and/or lost so much of what I once used to own. Having inherited a fully-furnished, four-bedroom house, K and I are now down to two beds, a given dining table, a computer table, a fridge, and a various assortment of this's and that's.

My task is not as gargantuan as it would have been had I not downsized considerably since 1997.

I have documents that need to be secured from government agencies; entertainment for a world conference that needs to be organized; books to be given away; a video collection that needs to be sold; furniture that needs to be donated; and a mini-dachshund that needs to be adopted.

All this while still deciding on where to live in the US.

The choices are now:

1. Orlando, Florida
2. Tallahassee, Florida
3. Jersey City, New Jersey
4. New York, New York

And I haven't even started allowing myself to think about the possibility of having to leave K for a month or two first before she follows.

Without this peace that transcends all understanding, I would certainly be partially insane by now.

Thank God I've been through worse!

This is nothing.

I am in the water, untethered to anything that keeps me safe, thankful that the One who commands the wind and the waves is with me.

Where would I be without my Jesus?